Organmeetings stories: Making the courageous decision to donate

In May 2024, you and your family decided to donate the organs of your brother, Dimitris. At what point and how did this decision become conscious during the whole process?

As far as I am concerned, it was from the very first minute. I must also admit that my parents, after the initial shock, showed incredible dignity in handling the matter and immense courage at the time of the decisions, taking on the responsibility that fell upon them at that moment. I vividly remember the first few minutes when the neurosurgeon came to brief us, who was in a very difficult position facing us. I may never forget the look on his face when I looked him in the eyes and told him: “Say what you have to say, as it is, straight and to the point.” The next thing I managed to utter was just two words: “organ donation.” As strange as it may sound, I thought of my brother first. I knew he would be proud to give life to others. After all, we had discussed organ donation three or four months before the accident, although this was about me.

Does the thought that other people may be saved ease the pain of the moment in any way? How did you deal with it within your family?

I can share what I told my mother as we discussed while she was still searching for what we call “the last hope.” After the physicians, with the presence of two psychologists, ruled out the possibility of a recovery, it was time for the final decision, with the option of organ donation now on the table. I reminded her that we had been to her gynecologist when I was 14 years old, and together, we had listened to Dimitri’s heart. This heart, which we as mothers hear beating inside us for the first time, is the first organ we form and the nucleus of our child. So, I told her that if she wanted Dimitris to survive, the choice was to transplant his heart. That way, he would continue to live, feel, and dream. The pain for your loved one is undeniable, but it is eased by knowing that you become another link in the chain of life. It helps to know that you have the choice to turn the darkness you are experiencing into light and hope. These rays of light gradually show you that you not only did the right thing but also the moral thing. You have fulfilled your role because we are fellow human beings, and we must uphold and highlight our humanity.

How did your friends and relatives react to this decision?

I must admit that no one ever asked me why we decided this, but many wonder where the strength comes from. As one cousin of mine said, we may have done something beyond human capability. On the other hand, I do not feel that, as humans, we did anything more than what was right and just. Sure, it hurt a lot in the first few moments, but I believe that after some point, I did the best I could so that my brother could feel as proud as we are of him—his sister, his parents, my daughter, his friends, and our relatives. All these now can say, “We have a life donor too.” Yes, even today, I feel that this whole process of sharing life is my brother’s achievement.

If you were involved in a dialogue with people who are considering organ donation but have not yet made a final decision, how would you share your own experience?

I would say that the decision for my brother is the most painful, but also the most meaningful of my life—and I hope I will not have to make a similar one again. But for my daughter, I want the gift of life offered by my brother—her ‘Goofy’—to be the best ethical lesson he gave her, the greatest legacy for her to carry on in life. I know it is our human nature to doubt. And, if anything, we worry that maybe we haven’t done everything possible or do not trust everything. But at that crucial moment, you must listen clearly to reason, see reality, and try to grasp the meaning of brain death. It’s the moment when condolences are given. Harsh but true. And who wouldn’t want a miracle? But here, we’re not just near death; we’re already in death. I’m a deeply religious person myself. But I firmly believe that by donating organs, we have the choice to regenerate hope and highlight the miracle when others believe hope is lost. There is substance in keeping a heart alive if you are allowed to do so, giving it the choice to keep beating, feeling, and claiming. There is no greater meaning than giving life. However, I believe the younger generation is gradually becoming more aware.